The power of the mind goes beyond calculations, memorizations, and analysis. The mind dictates the whole system of our human anatomy that whatever we think of ourselves, we act likewise. If we think that we are miserable, then yes we are. If we think that we are strong, then, we surely are. These are so many thoughts that could enter our mind and how foolish I am to always think of what’s negative. I always tell myself to be strong. But as what my zodiac sign is symbolized with, crabs are tough on the outside, so soft in the inside. Yup, I am part of the Cancer club. We are perceived to be nurturing, motherly, creative, emotional, and the trait that defines me most, moody, as we are ruled by the heavenly body, Moon.
I could not clearly remember how I became moody. Maybe it rooted out from my childhood, from teenagehood, or maybe from my exact birth. Whatever the start of occurrence is, the reality remains that negative energies easily overwhelm me. Sometimes, I drown in a crowd of strangers that I have to literally remind myself to breathe. But sometimes, I could shine with the sun and count my friends as if I were counting the sand that lies on a pristine white beach. Is this because I am a cancer? Or is it simply just me? Oh how fleeting our feelings are.
A good friend told me that I must stop trying to be strong. Instead, I must be strong. That was so eye-opening for me as trying is really different from doing. “Do not try to be strong; be strong.” I would have taken the advice with open arms and open mind if only, the advice did not come from him. The words shook my illusions of reunion and reconciliation; the words were the implicit message that there could never be again.
There are so million thoughts that wander through my mind and I could not think of any that may not uncover the twinge in my heart. I never wanted to affirm the inevitable truth that fate always finds a way to reveal that some things are not meant to be..that some things must not be asserted when events oppose to your plans…and that things can be accepted by us, but we must also be ready to let go of it. When put in a cage, a butterfly loses its spirit, its magic, and its beauty.
“How lucky I am to find something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” What an irony. But still, I really am lucky to have found someone who taught me to lessen the maldita attitude and to be emotionally independent. It was a nice relationship. But that was it, a nice relationship.
Be strong not for him, not for anyone, but just for myself. Sometimes, our hearts deceive us. And we must not trust our heart’s instinct for it only beats on every pulse; it does not rationalize the system of our mind. Indeed, it’s the other way around. Our mind controls our heart. And the order of decisions must be based on that fact. The power of the mind is so immense that I could still afford to walk straight no matter how bended my spirit has become.
The negative energies that overwhelm me and sometimes, overpower me remain my companion. So the struggle still remains in me. When ugly voices tell me to give up, I respond by the message that I can do it, I am still learning. It is not difficult; I just still haven’t learned yet! When ugly voices tell me to never retreat in a losing battle, I respond by saying that it is pride and disobedience to go against God’s obvious plans that I must go forward, think wisely, and fight like how a soldier must-with purpose, dignity, and His blessings.
When ugly voices tell me that my life is miserable, I respond by saying that life is not perfect. Adversities are just part of life to remind us that we must be humble especially, when many good things blind us from being grounded. Confusions are just part of our unstable mind that seeks to understand everything beyond wisdom. And failures happen to us to remind us that we are only strong if we are with Him.
Everyday we wake to fight a battle against mediocrity. Everyday must count. And I can do this. Of course, I can. Have a wonderful Sunday!
How about you? How do you respond to challenges?
