My lazy-daisy, carefree weekends in my hometown are over, and that means the lazy-daisy, carefree personality within me must again switch back to responsible and alert working gurrrrrrL. And I must also return to a certain matter that needs to be handled today, this morning, and right away.
The ride was swift as the taxi driver never pretended there was traffic and never routed to long shortcuts. The ride brought a sense of nostalgia of my first months of staying in a city away from home. New place, new faces, new things..but this time, something else is new. A different and unfamiliar situation arises that pushes me to do something that will bring back my peace of mind but may jeopardize someone.
I will not be a hypocrite by pretending I have not experienced any conflicts at all. I have my own share. I dread conflicts, fights, and conflicts. But fearing conflicts does not mean I won't fight back if they reappear.
I have to do something about this betrayal or else I will be the one who will bear the consequences. I can only extend my hospitality to a certain degree. I can only say yes here, yes there, yes, yes, yes too much. About someone who stabbed me at my back, I will no longer care. It's time to refuse.
I asked for signs that my plan for action is a rational one. And I hoped that in the end, everything will turn out fine and okay for everyone.
I welcomed myself in to the house that serves as my home away from home, except that these few days, it didn't feel home at all. It was just past sunrise but my landlady is already awake...hmm, good sign. I told my landlady that I will transfer to a room for one..for final. I could feel that my indecisiveness last week didn't make a good impression to her. But this time, it is final. No turning back. Even though the room's worth is really steep for me, at least, I could have my privacy and peace of mind.
Survival of the fittest is the deadliest and most urgent weapon we must acquire these days. Things could have taken a different turn if only the betrayal didn't happen. Well, whatever. What's done has been done.
An urgent move, this really is. I know I may jeopardize someone but that someone could have also considered how I will also be jeopardized if ever the betrayal went on to its consequences. I hope the message that says 'please don't mess with me'' is crystal-clear now.
I'm making a bold move..and I know it is a wise one.
